does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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