my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
