Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
