Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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