So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
