i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
