You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
