You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
