Cold hands, warm shart.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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