We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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