In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I have fence marks all over my body
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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