Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
