Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
