I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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