life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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