it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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