Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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