I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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