Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
