HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
