a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
You're so nebulous sometimes
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
