I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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