This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
