please come you make the beer taste better
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
