i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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