He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize