Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
