i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
