as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
