Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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