Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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