I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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