If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
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