please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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