Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
