Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
