dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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