so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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