This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
