clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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