i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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