how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
How does one acquire holy water?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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