Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
