Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
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we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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