Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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