Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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