Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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