We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize