He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
