If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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