Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
