Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
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he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
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So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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