Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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