The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize