i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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