Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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