I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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