i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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