is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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