If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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