Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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