you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
