you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Drunk is a universal language darling
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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