hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
